Starbody

Blogcritic names the Top 10 Worst Song Lyrics … Ever. While I think this is certainly a formidable list, as Stereogum points out, no list would be complete without one or two (or all) R. Kelly songs? With such memorable and romantic lyrics like:

You remind me of my jeep, I want to ride it
Something like my sound, I wanna pump it
Girl you look just like my cars, I wanna wax it
And something like my bank account
I wanna spend it, baby

There’s nothing more romantic than comparing your woman to inanimate objects.

And what about that Rob Thomas guy with such inspiring lyrics as:

This is it now
Everybody get down
This is all I can take
This is how a heart breaks
You take a hit now you feel it break down
Make you stay wide awake
This is how a heart breaks

Can someone tell me what the hell this guy is talking about? I first heard this song during the NBA finals. Apparently, some bright light decided this was the song to whip everyone into a basketball frenzy. This song is just bad.

But not this bad. I’ll leave you with, quite possibly, one of the worst songs in the history of the human language (I’m not exaggerating … well, maybe, a little). What a coincidence with all this smoothing up in ya going on that the band’s name was (because I’m assuming this band is no longer around) the Bullet Boys. Does that mean bullet as in ‘quick as a’?

I know you really want to move me
You know I like to see you try
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again
You’re not not trapped if you don’t let me in

Looks like you’re the hard kind
I ain’t got that kind of time

Oh I send shivers

Smooth up in ya
Smooth up in ya
(In ya)

You say I’m never gonna break ya
But we won’t know until we try
So now’s the time to make up your mind
I’ll never ever be the one woman kind

Don’t let your lovin’ go to waste
All it takes is just one date

Oh I send shivers

Smooth up in ya
Smooth up in ya
(Smooth up in ya)

Smooth up in ya
(I wanna go, I wanna go)
Smooth up in ya
(Right now, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)

Oh oh oh
I wanna go
I wanna
I wanna go

Oh yeah yeah yeah, don’t let your lovin’ go to waste
Oh honey child, I’m gonna give you a taste

Whoa I send shivers

Smooth up in ya
Smooth up in ya
(Smooth up in ya)

Have a nice day.

Top 10 Worst Song Lyrics… Ever… {Blogcritic}
Trapped In The Closet {Stereogum}