My Real Bed or Random Holiday Thoughts
one holiday down, two to go.
i have been dreading the holidays. i just finished eating leftover stuffing and reading Why I Hate Thanksgiving by Mitchel Cohen. i don’t celebrate Thanksgiving for any reason other than the following: a. it’s a day i always have off of work b. my parents live some 2000 miles away and it’s another good excuse to see and spend time with them.
the news reported that Walmart’s opened at 6am for post-Thanksgiving Day sales this morning and that there were actually people camped out at midnight waiting to be the first in the door. i haven’t found a way to understand that. i haven’t ever been to a Walmart, so maybe there’s something secretly fabulous about them that i am not privy too (although, based on their TV commercials, i find that difficult to believe).
what i’ve taken from this visit is that air beds suck. i don’t care if they are made of fluffy clouds or have the word aero in them. we are definitely investing in a bed for the guest room. i love my bed. i miss it when i’m not in it. i daydream of ways that will allow me to operate on a daily basis from it (that doesn’t involve prostitution). i can’t wait to bury myself in between a pillow top mattress, luxury mattress pad, flannel sheets and layers of blankets and pillows.
and now, on to the next holiday.
Monday, December 1 4:01 pm
i didn’t understand the camping out at wal*mart either. i mean, wal*mart has it’s moments. like the time i found a pack of 6 underwear for $5. i nearly had a stroke when i realized that was less than $1 a pair, i was so delirious with joy. i did end up at wal*mart the day after thanksgiving with my parents, but only because we’d been out of power at the house for something close to 8 hours. we had to get out, and watching mouthbreathers at the local wal*mart seemed like a good idea at the time. the place was entirely ransacked, and even though it was hardly 4 in the afternoon, it was being restocked even as people filled their carts to the brim. and human decency? good cheer? love for man? in very short supply there. but then, i did just call the customers “mouthbreathers,” so i shouldn’t be the one talking.