Real Boys

There are quite a few posts steeping in my head, not all of which are ready to be pulled out and plunked down on these here internets. So, let’s go with the latest.

Awhile back while searching for baby books, I had stumbled on a book called Real Boys at Elliott Bay. It examines boy stereotypes and how raising a boy is different than girls (besides the obvious). It speaks often of the “boy code” and the narrow means by which boys are often defined and forced into. And how, often right from the start, there is a process of making boys “independent” for fear they may become “sissies” or “momma’s boys”. Having been raised in a household of girls, I hadn’t really given this topic much thought. While I don’t buy into the boy code in general, starting to read this book has definitely made me more aware of how this permeates our society.

Things I’ve Learned

“What did you do over summer vacation?” Remember that inevitable question on the first day of school? (I used to think it was posed out of interest and now I think it was a teacher’s way of escaping diving right into lesson plans) Let’s just say this summer I’ve done quite a bit, learned even more and done things I’ve never thought I’d do before. Before you go thinking that I’ve taken that backpacking trip to Europe, mastered my sewing machine or went sky diving … I’ll clarify that I’ve done the craziest thing ever. I’m a parent.

So let’s see how this stacks up:

Done quite a bit. Check.

• Gave birth/had major surgery
• Changed a gazillion diapers in varying degrees (from the quick and easy single wiper to the full on three wipe disaster)
• Gave up sleep

Learned more. Check.

• How to give a newborn a bath
• How to eat hot food while caring for a baby
• How to snap up poorly designed baby clothing with one hand while holding a baby who has just now made a mess of said baby clothing
• How to remove soiled baby clothing without spreading the mess to a just cleaned up baby (see above)
• How to do all while sleep deprived

Done things I never thought I’d do. Check.

• Gave birth/had major surgery
• Cleaned the shower while in it while the baby watches from his bouncer
• Nursed the baby in the back seat of the car at the dog park
• Wore sweatpants (just once!) outside the house. I swear it will never happen again.

Who says life can’t get more exciting? Seriously though, it has been the best summer ever and it is with great dread that I face returning to work (unless we win the lottery … or as Scott call’s it “a tax for people who can’t do math”).

Who Is This Girl?

Admittedly, I’ve been struggling lately. Struggling with day-to-day mundane activities, struggling with my identity and just about everything else you can imagine. Drastic life changes always (for me) prompt close examination of not just the current life I’m living and who I am, but what I’ve left behind. It’s as if I find it necessary to take stock of everything that has led up to the current chaos.

I decided to poke around the ‘ol archives to see what I was writing years ago. Back then, it was mostly about music and friends and enjoying the culture this city has to offer. That’s not so different from now, except there is considerably less time to do it and the priorities have shifted just a bit.

Since the boy was born, I’d make a conscious effort not to write much about him here. At the time I had thought it was just best saved for a family-type blog and kept off of this. But now, I think perhaps I was looking to carve out a tiny little spot to preserve who I was avant l’enfant. Perhaps harking back to days of being a non “breeder” as you singles so fondly like to call us. I also don’t assume anyone else wants to hear about the boy just because I adore him. And I’d been thinking about it even more after reading Kate’s thoughts. The conclusion I came to? Who cares? It’s not like I’m breaking bandwidth records or anything. I write here for just one reason, because I need to. So I might as well be honest about what I write.
I’m going somewhere with this, really. It’s all part of the big picture of what I’ve been wrestling (or wrasslin’ if you prefer) with in the first place. Who I am now. I used to really worry I wouldn’t be the same person. Seriously, I think I might have believed that when you became a mother they handed you your minivan and mom jeans. And though I’ve gotten past that, unexpectedly I’m realizing that I don’t want to do all of the things I did before because I’m a slightly different person … and that’s not a bad thing. It’s like me, plus. I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend and now a mother and I also listen to Bjork, enjoy horror movies and freak out every now and then. I’m good enough, smart enough and darnit people like me. Whew. Is anyone thinking, “What the hell is she on about?”

In close, I’ve just added a new category for baby.

The Kind Of Day It Is

We woke up fairly early this morning and planned on seeing the latest Harry Potter movie at Lincoln Square (where I’m told they are stroller friendly and will take your concession order right from your seat!). This did not happen. The boy was sleeping … during the day. No, really, this is amazing. So we thought, okay we’ll just hit the First Weeks group at noon instead (I’ve never been a joiner, but it was pretty helpful). That did not happen either. On to plan C, take the boy for a ride and simultaneously grab lunch. And yet, here I am typing.

The upside of missed plans are that other pleasant things happen.

The boy has taken a record nap and getting some much needed rest. I’ve been able to spend some time admiring some serious cuteness on Etsy. Best laid plans …

Note To Self

Customize this dang theme and replace the main photo. I love that image (the husband took it on one of his crazy hikes) but I’m not sure what a bunch of trees has to do with anything. Sheesh.

Design Minded

I’m a self professed modern design junkie and while our budget doesn’t allow us to splurge on a house full of modern, a girl can dream. Modern design lovers know that Design Public is a fabulous spot online to drool over a Blu Dot Modular Deskette and even pick up a Flensted mobile for the nursery. For those lucky folks in the bay area, you can purchase store returns and samples at a discounted price online and then pick them up at their warehouse. How luck are you?

Seoul Train

I’m certain I’ve written about this before, but it’s definitely something worth repeating. A few years back at the SIFF we saw a double feature.

First, a government-sanctioned film documenting a day in the life of the so called “average” North Korean titled North Korea - A Day In The Life. The film clearly displayed a government sanctioned life proudly as though this were all a person could hope for.

The second film, a documentary called Seoul Train. This film documented the plight of North Korean refugees who risk their lives to escape a famine stricken country through China, only to be returned by the Chinese government to face severe punishment and sometimes death.

What’s even more striking than the story itself, is the back story of one of the main activists risking his life to help people through an underground railroad. Chun Ki-won is a pastor and central figure in helping people escape. During the filming of the documentary he was captured, but had managed to dump the film for the movie in a toilet (I believe somewhere in Mongolia). While imprisoned, he had a profound impact on one of his captors who then became an activist as well and married his daughter! Months later, they had gone back, retrieved the video (now frozen inside the toilet pipes) and managed to salvage it to appear in the film. This is an excellent reason for attending SIFF every year. One of the directors spoke after the screening to share this story.

Both films were truly fascinating. The picture of North Korea seems blurry at best and is often encapsulated into the seemingly insane quirks of its leader Kim Jong-Il. And while he seems more like a cartoon character (and perfect fodder for SNL), he’s been involved in ruling that country for more than 30 years. It’s frightening.

If you have a chance, it’s worth seeing both these films.

Normally, I reserve all baby posts for the other site, but this is my one and only cheat. Here’s who’s been taking up all my time.

Summertime rolls on. I’m dreading going back to work and giving some serious thought to starting my own little business. On top of that, spending time figuring out how to balance who I am now with who I was. Looking for inspiration to start writing again and possibly taking on a bit of freelance work if the opportunity presents itself.

Reading Irene Nemirovsky’s Suite Fran?ɬßaise and despite it’s tragic subject (the impending German occupation of France) it’s proving to be a perfect summer read in between lightly researching PMP certification.

Hope your summer is chocked full of sweet goodness!

Divinity

I haven’t posted in so long. I could talk about appreciating the little things even more than before. Or I could write about how my life has changed and the weird taboos that still surround being pregnant and/or giving birth. Or I could talk about BRMC AGAIN because they are scheduled to appear Bumbershoot as is John Sayles.

Instead, I’ll complain that they are remaking Hairspray. How can you remake any of John Waters’ movies? Really? And John Travolta vs. Divine? Queen Latifah? The girl from that show with the 90210 girl whose name I can’t remember? It’s just wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Ubiquitous Sunday Post

Where does the time go? The last month has seemingly breezed by in a blur of emotions ranging from exhaustion to pure joy. While I really had no expectations of how my life would change when the baby was born, at the same time it’s different than I could have even imagined. For a long time I worried I wouldn’t be myself anymore … would start wearing mom jeans and talk about diapers all the time. While I have done my fair share of diaper talk, I’ve found we’re not the same, we’re better. And instead of listening to The Cure, I’m listening to lullaby renditions of The Cure (which I highly recommend!). I went through the same thing before getting married. I had this idea that once you got married you automatically turned into your parents or at least some dumbed down suburbian version of yourself. And yet, here I am.

This is an abrupt ending, no? But, diaper changing calls.

Hipster Vegans Beware

My sister and I were flipping through a copy of Bust the other day and noticed an advertisement for a vegan uterus purse. Now, while I enjoy this magazine, I have to admit sometimes it takes itself a little too seriously. Which led us to the idea of registering at one of the hipster craft fairs, or I Heart Rummage and peddling the vegan uterus purse nemesis … the leather penis sac.

After Dark And Other Unrelated News

Finally! Haruki Murakami’s new book After Dark comes out on May 8th. Sushi for the mind, his books are. Refreshing, poetic and magically sparse. You can read an excerpt from the book, pre-order and get free shipping by entering AFTERDARK at checkout directly from Random House’s website. Just in time for the realization that I probably won’t be touching books for at least the next month. Well, at least books that aren’t made out of pressed board or fabric.

In other completely unrelated news, Panic, creators of the the super fantastic FTP client Transmit have taken a foray into the editor world with the release of Coda. Their product design (and website) are great examples of design. I’ve just poked around a bit and so far so good (Transmit is integrated right into this puppy). The interface is slick, intuitive and easy to use … so far, so good. I may just be dumping BBEdit and TextMate for good.

And finally, 28 Weeks Later releases on May 11. I’d been hearing rumors, whispers for so long I figured something unsavory must be going on and alas Danny Boyle and Alex Garland have nothing to do with this version. The Spanish director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo seems fairly unknown. Will I see it? Probably not until it’s released to DVD because of timing but I’ll keep my fingers crossed that it lives up to the first.

And now … off to grab coffee.

End Of An Era

My mother called to say that Uncle Stan died. Really, he’s not my uncle at all and is actually my grandmother’s sister’s husband (and I think also my godfather). He was about 90 years old and I have to say we were all surprised he was the last one to hang in there due to the copious amounts of alcohol he consumed throughout his life, or at least the part of his life I knew him.

He lived in northern Michigan minutes away from my grandparents’ house “up north” and most often I’d see him on long summer vacation stays with them. Their houses were/are situated in a rural area with my grandparent’s being set off the road and surrounded by woods. Uncle Stan would come over in the evenings. We’d pause in the midst of whatever we were doing because you could clearly hear a car coming from far away. He’d sit just inside the garage with my grandfather drinking Old Milwaukee’s out of the garage refridgerator (which held little else but nightcrawlers for fishing). My brother and I would wander around trying to catch moths or making a last ditch effort at swinging on the tire swing without permanently paralyzing ourselves. The tire swing was hung on the perfect tree, unfortunately it was also hung too close to the tree itself. So, if you really let loose on it there was always the danger of smacking headlong into the trunk. Conservative swinging was only so much fun.

Uncle Stan and my grandfather would listen to the Tiger’s game on an old beat up radio and instructed us occasionally to grab them a beer. If we were expedient about it, the foam was offered up as a treat. It was, of course, terrible but we always complied because it seemed so elicit. My grandmother highly disapproved. Despite that, she would sometimes bring out trays of cheese, crackers and salami (which the men devoured) in between hanging laundry on the lines. I’d stand next to her and hand her clothespins, often already bored of whatever it was we were doing. She always wore a skirt, the footie socks with the little balls, blue Keds (i swear she kept them in waiting should a pair wear out) and a kerchief on her head.

They’d be at this until the mosquitos started to bite, at which time Uncle Stan would gather up Pepper (his small poodle) and meander to his car for the drive home.

Insomnia

Why is it an unwritten law that when you lose a post, the rewritten version will never be as good as the first? And what happens if you’ve actually lost the post twice (having realized one of the links you were adding crashed the browser)? Does that mean the rewritten post will be twice as crappy? Methinks so. I can tell … already!

Well, might as well get on with it then. Sigh. My new favorite past time when unable to sleep and/or I’m trying my best to avoid doing something I should be (like cleaning … or work) is to organize and weed through my del.icio.us tags. It’s like cleaning your closet or going through old photographs. You end up finding sites you may have forgotten about and find yourself rediscovering things at a much faster rate than you’re actually organizing. I spent time reading through La Coquette and then even more time loving the Colette site and dreaming about sipping un caf?ɬ© while perusing floors of design goodness. I poked around aoineko to check for their latest music offerings for download (good for working to!) and admired the combination of innovation and awareness in the delivery of the USHMM’s site on the genocide in the Congo. This lead me to a lighter break over at the very stylish blog for Handmade Detroit before admiring the lovely little work-y type items at See Jane Work where they share my belief that a lovely workspace is important!

So I did just a teensy bit of reorganizing. There’s always next time.

Random Bits

I really need to take a break from Frontline. It’s an amazing show for sure, but the other night I watched Memory of the Camps and still can’t stop thinking about the images. If you haven’t seen it, it documents discoveries by allied forces post the war of the atrocities committed in concentration camps across Germany.

If you have a chance, the Frontline website has a wide variety of their shows available in their entirety for viewing online. It makes you wonder why more news broadcasts aren’t like this. At the same time, it certainly makes it difficult to think happy thoughts. Time to go off and work on that.

For BRMC Junkies

A quick bit for Black Rebel Motorcycle Club fans. Two songs from the upcoming album Baby 81 are now streaming on the their site. Head on over to hear Weapon Of Choice and 666 Conducer.

(USP) She’s So Plain

This theme is so simple, but let it serve as the one spot in my life that is seemingly simple right now. At a time when the focus is supposed to be on remaining as stress free as possible, I’m failing miserably at it. Relationships both professional and personal are all suffering at the moment. The bright side? I have a whole Sunday to figure it out before the week starts again. Kidding.

Random Bits

• * Looking forward to seeing Curse of the Golden Flower, the latest from Zhang Yimou starring his longtime leading lady Gong Li. I’ve long been a fan of films like Raise the Red Lantern, Shanghai Triad, To Live and The Road Home. From the looks of the trailer, this promises to be as beautiful as Hero and House of Flying Daggers.
• * Just picked up tickets to see David Lynch brought to the fantastic Town Hall by the fantastic folks at Elliott Bay. He’s talking about creativity, meditation and his new book Catching the Big Fish.
• * Nick Cave’s latest project Grinderman releases a limited edition 7″ and download for Get It On. The first song on their myspace site was titled No Pussy Blues … are we sensing a theme here?

2007 at last

Happy new year to you and yours. Here’s to wiping the slate clean for 2007!

Non-traditional Christmas

This Christmas, although we bought our first live tree … that was pretty much the extent of our holiday efforts. We failed to brave the throngs of shopping crowds and as much as I love to buy things for people, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Honestly this year we really didn’t want our friends and family to spend money on us either. Good wishes were really enough. Despite that our families sent us loads of presents that we truly appreciated with highlights such as: Beer Nuts pajamas (sweet and salty!), Philosophy goodies (aahhh!), gift cards and warm socks.

I also can’t miss mentioning the box we opened from my sister packed full of Better Made snacks. If you don’t know, Better Made is a Detroit-based snack brand that’s been around for as long as I can remember. Their thin chips (with the occasional greenie) always make me think of being at the ice rink, watching hockey games. Thank goodness they haven’t gone the way of Towne Club soda. And unlike Vernors, these chips taste the same as they have since I was a little girl. Aah salty nostalgia.

Christmas eve, we had friends over for a decidedly un-Christmas meal. Typically, it would be a roast or something involving all day preparation. This year, Scott, Chuck, Heff and Shane joined us for a small food date which included mini-hamburgers (a hit with the men for some reason), shrimp rolls, macaroni and cheese and other snacky foods built for long-term grazing. The evening was closed with a viewing of the infamous Wicked Sceptre and Taint Misbehavin’ episodes of Mr. Show. Good times were had by all.

This un-Christmas just might become a tradition in itself!